eleven songs celina listened to in may and what she thought of them
eleven songs i listened to in may and what i thought of (some of) them
hello patrons of clara’s blog. two things right off the bat: 1) this is not clara and 2) this post is far too long.
For my non-Mandarin-understanding friends, I'm sorry you can’t experience these songs in their original language. I hope the translations suffice. These are not super direct/literal, and for the most part I will favor the general vibe and message of the song over specific details (though footnotes will be added where I see fit. sorry in advance).
Disclaimer: I am a good translator1, but I fear some things will always be untranslatable2 (but! that should never stop you! music is universal and you can listen to something you don't understand and still learn from it! isn't that cool!!)
1. Source: Professor Hoffman and also my mom
2. Source: Professor Hoffman and also me
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李荣浩 Li Ronghao《另一端 The Other Side》
Lyrics:
1. Chinese tends to omit the subject whenever possible, so often when translating to languages that rely on the subject existing for the sentence to make sense, you are left in hell and simply have to infer from context what the subject and pov is. This is fun when you want to be vague and like complex metaphors or nuanced wordplay. This is not fun if you don’t like broken clunky bastard sentences. In other words, I’ve put subjects and pronouns back where I think they should be.
2. Traditional Chinese dinner menu standard, sort of like the typical “well-balanced” protein, veggie, grain per meal kinda thing. Except much less a nutritional balance thing and more of a cultural balance thing.
3. I think the details in these lines are really important in setting a scene and context for the rest of the song, cuz I’m getting a real specific vibe out of them.
Bicycles are sort of a cultural icon in China in that they were super super important in the 80s/90s as the sole affordable method of transportation, since cars were still luxury purchases and extremely scarce (bikes picked up some more meaning as a symbol of the proletariat during the Cultural Revolution I think, but that’s a different can of worms). Quite a lot of people born during that time look back and fondly recall clinging to their parents on the back of a bike while running errands or cycling to and from school—my mom remembers her brother teaching her how to ride a bike by pushing her down a hill into a crowded marketplace. As a result, they also often represent a shared yearning for the simple freedoms and carefree days of childhood.
Same with the line about the TV—not a big ugly flatscreen but those old CRT televisions with the knobs that weigh a ton and a half. Bringing home one of those was not cheap nor easy, and saying he’ll buy one “next month” implies he is or has been saving up for one. This would have been a big deal.
And so I’m getting a pretty nostalgic, romanticized picture of an ordinary lower/middle class family in China in the late 80s-90s, rural countryside/suburban area, hard-working parents doing their best. Makes me think of the old movies I used to watch with my grandparents when I was little.
4. “Resilient” is the most concise translation, but really these characters evoke a much stronger connotation of one setting their jaw, gritting their teeth (even the pronunciation requires you to grit your teeth), and pushing through immense pain or sacrifice. Think rugged individual, wild-west-cowboy, single-parent-working-hard-for-their-kids-type resilience.
5. This is an interesting line. I first interpreted it as a sentence that cuts off and then leads directly into the chorus (i.e. “Please don’t forget that we on the other side cannot—lend you…” etc.). I think a better understanding is seeing it as the son saying, “Please don’t forget us, even once you’ve crossed to the other side.”
6. This first character can mean both “when” or “as if” depending on context
7. Li Ronghao also has a song called《耳朵 Ear》. It’s a similar Chinese pop ballad type of deal.
8. Literally: “flip forward (through them)”, as you would with a scrapbook/photo album
9. As in, “I’ve lived through so many regrets and had so many experiences and grown as a person without you and you’ll never be able to go through any of that with me (because you’re dead)”
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I love a cold open, but a classic “eight bar intro to establish a musical idea/the basic chords you’ll be hearing for pretty much the entire song” is a classic for a reason. Also, who would've guessed: prototypical guitar and piano in a Chinese pop song is prototypical. All it’s missing is the melodramatic string orchestra that kicks in as soon as it gets emotional. Also also, Li Ronghao has a nice voice. Good for him.
The first time I listened to this song, I didn’t like the vocal part in the first verse because the fast three note pattern at the beginning of each line felt rushed. I preferred the slower pattern in the bridge (eighth plus dotted eighth and sixteenth?) and still kinda do. Thematically though, it works. You get the sense that this person’s life is harried, with a never-ending amount of tasks and responsibilities (putting food on the table every day, things constantly breaking around the house, making sure he’s not neglecting his kid, etc.), and then the music pulls back accordingly in the bridge as he slows to reflect on lessons learned from his own father.
Love the shift in the chorus. Love even more the empty space as the instrumental tapers out and the suspended cymbal sounding thing builds right before the lead guitar comes in. The entire chorus has a certain innocence to it; a few lines shift to a more cutesy/naive way of speaking. I think Li Ronghao also takes on a slight childlike affect with his cadence and the way he enunciates certain words. This might just be due to the fact that the characters in the chorus require more separation in their pronunciation compared to his more legato style in the first verse/bridge. In any case, the lead guitar is at the forefront of this change; its nasally tone and twangy(?) articulation and vibrato brings a nice edge to an otherwise kinda cookie-cutter pop ballad and sounds more quirky..? relative to everything else.
What I’m getting at is that there’s a parallel between the vocals/guitar and the general idea that runs throughout the song. The youthful lead guitar (annoying, attention-seeking, but a little bit endearing after a few listens) in the chorus complements the nostalgia and quiet reflectiveness/relative simplicity of the backing instrumentals in the same way that the subject flips between remembering his father through the eyes of a child/teen and through his eyes now as an adult. The lead guitar part is fresh and interesting; the background instrumentals are routine by the time we reach the chorus. It’s the juxtaposition (forgive me) between needing to be grown up and independent, and also sometimes needing a parental figure to comfort your inner child—a secondary sort of coming-of-age, in a bittersweet way. This is so Sandra Cisneros “Eleven” core.
The title, “The Other Side”, is pretty clearly intended to refer to whatever’s after death/the other side of life, and the song as a whole is raising a sentimental glass to good, hard-working dads, but there’s also that interesting bit about fathers having once been sons themselves. So I see your dead dad and I raise you a parallel reading: you can also interpret it as whatever it is you gradually come to realize as you enter adulthood, the other side of childhood/adolescence. And now the line “Please don’t forget us, even on the other side” has another layer to it. Neat.
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“What they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all.”
—Sandra Cisneros, “Eleven”
Final rating: eyes and ears and mouth and nose, head shoulders knees and toes/10
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草东没有派对 No Party for Cao Dong《老张 Chang1》
Studio version | Surprisingly high quality live performance | Live performance where you can actually see the band members, if you care about that sort of thing
Lyrics:
1. The title is just a placeholder name for an anonymous or unspecified person, like “John Doe” in English. The Chinese equivalent is 张三, with 张三李四 being an idiom that basically means “any Tom, Dick, or Harry.” 张 (transcripted Zhang/Chang) and 李 (Li) are extremely common surnames, and 三, 四 means “three” and “four”, respectively. Placing the character 老 (lit: “old”) in from of a name indicates familiarity and casualness, but can sometimes be patronizing if used with someone you don’t know well. Very similar to how older people will be like, “What’s old Bob up to these days?” or “How’s your old man?” So in context with the lyrics, the title points to the song either being about just some guy, or about the narrator feeling like a John Doe—a nobody.
2. The actual characters used here refer to a person who has an intellectual disability, but are often unnecessarily translated into English using an outdated, derogatory term. “Idiot” suffices to make the same point. That aside, this is indicative of the song being about the resulting constant self-deprecation that comes from insecurity and incredibly negative self-image. also, there’s a little blip of noise near the beginning of this line that sounds a bit like the recording start noise in a voice memo app and it confuses me every time. like. what is that
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I’m pretty sure this band composes all of their own music, which is cool. This song is a nice showcase of their characteristic sound and also their skill at writing for guitar. We start with a staggered entrance, which is always fun; the lead guitar melody in the first four measures, then the countermelody in the next four measures especially, is very nice. There’s a moment, a phrase or two before the lead singer (Wood Lin) comes in, where the rhythm guitar has two consecutive downstrokes (every time she plays two upbeats or two eighths to end/introduce a new phrase i lose my mind) and then all the instrumentalists take a beat of silence together and it’s excellent. Can you believe this band is made up of good musicians?
Nice open space for the bassist in the first and third sections. I really like the little descending patterns that begin and end certain phrases (again with the guitar and hi-hat doubling on the first two upbeats). There’s another nice guitar part after the first section, immediately echoing Wood's change in timbre from a lazy, mellow sound to a more energetic, edgy rock style in the second section. The drums and bass match these shifts so well. The bass part during this interlude and most of the second section is largely upbeats plus a little bit of noodling, and it’s very good.
The best thing in the world happens after the third section. You’re back in that drowsy groove, and then when Wood decides it’s time to rough up his voice, instead of matching his energy with that cool fast guitar part, everyone gets quiet. Two soft strums and a little hi-hat tap…and you get hit with the best most perfect satisfying guitar solo you will ever hear!! And it happens again after the last section to end the song, this time with some really crunchy, ripped up dead notes, which is amazing for me!! Moral of the story is that Judy Chan (the rhythm guitarist playing this solo) is the coolest. Taiwanese rock 🔛🔝!
An unfortunate side effect of this is a disease called “I refuse to focus on anything besides the cool guitar parts”, so I really don’t have anything I care to say about any other aspect of this song. I interpreted it as a song about trying to cope with low self-esteem and depression and taking self-deprecation too far (why is he trying to disappear into the mountains...), but it’s also possibly about a spiraling alcoholic mess of a town drunk. I don’t know. Drink responsibly.
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Final rating: 🎸dodoBWAWAdodoBWAWAdododida 🎸/10
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Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - “Johanna (Act 2 Sequence)”
Lyrics:
🚩🚩🚩 all these people have issues
This is only on here because of Josh Groban’s voice. And Sondheim’s scoring I guess. The correct way of listening to this number is to listen exclusively for the melody that first appears when he sings, “Goodbye Johanna/You’re gone, and yet you’re mine/I’m fine, Johanna/I’m fiiiiiiine” because that’s my favorite part and then zone out for the rest (which is fine and quite good actually and I’m a big fan of the orchestra’s parts, especially the clarinets). There is a nice horn(?) part when that motif comes around the second and third time. That’s all.
Final rating: she groban on my josh till i’m fine/10
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Sammy Rae & The Friends - “Closer to You”
Lyrics:
They’re cool but again I don’t really pay attention to them because I’m busy marveling at Sammy Rae’s vocal agility and also the rest of the band.
Sammy Rae sounds like a saxophone. I wish I sounded like a saxophone. Perhaps one day I will play sax almost as well as Max Zooi and Kellon Anderson. I really don’t have anything else to say because every time I listen to Sammy Rae (the entire The Good Life album, especially “Good Life”) I immediately have no thoughts in my brain. It’s just all vibes.
Final rating: 🎤🎶🎷🕺✨/10
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草东没有派对 No Party for Cao Dong《缸 Pool1》
Lyrics:
1. Pool is, I guess, the most concise word they could come up with for this specific container of liquid. It’s not great. It works for the running metaphors involving competitions and bodies of water, but not much else. The closest translation I could come up with is vat, which is not great either, because it makes me think of giant metal industrial vats. I don’t know of a good evocative word for it in English. Think stereotypical Chinese pots and vessels like this or this, just much bigger.
2. Like this and this. Industrial dye vats but round and made of clay/ceramic and bigger.
3. Alternative, wordier translation: “Let’s see who will be the first to swim towards their desires.” Implies actual achievement/fulfillment is not the goal, but competition―whoever makes the first move is ahead of everyone else.
4. Just as there are infinitely many integers, there is no end to human desire.
5. More akin to a lack of critical thinking than general stupidity. Because being stupid is okay 😔
6. Refers to ancient sacrificial burial rites in which objects, animals, or living people were buried with the dead to help or guide them in the afterlife. The specific characters referring to the custom of sacrificial human burial (殉葬) are not used, but 陪葬 (lit. “accompanying burial”) is the general umbrella term for these funeral rites. This line is an insult, implying that these people are fools who have wasted their lives and will not receive even the most basic courtesy upon death.
7. There’s a distinction to be made here. The characters used imply intention behind the act of forgetting: actively choosing to forget things, like the suppression or purging of memories―a learned behavior―rather than the natural process of losing bits and pieces here and there. Hence the next line: we must remember how to delete unwanted memories; paradoxically, we need to remember in order to forget.
8. i can’t believe people write lyrics that vaguely reference accounting and i can’t believe i got excited about it. Bad debts are uncollectible debts. Basically, stuff that won’t get paid back.
9. Artistic license was applied liberally here. I wanted this line to be as scathing in English as is intended. Literally: “Those who pay with their beliefs, those that lie to themselves/Are those who drink the cheapest wine as they go to the accompanying burial.” Not quite as snappy. The gist is something like “you waste your life getting utterly wasted on cheap wine cuz you’re a cheap, convictionless pos and an utter waste of a human being, and you know it.”
10. Literally: “food and sex”
11. This line feels like (and almost certainly is) a reference to a classic Chinese children’s story found in many a primary school textbook, in which real historical person Sima Guang was the only child in his friend group smart enough to smash a hole into an enormous clay vat of water in order to save another child from drowning. It also rhymes (copy into a translator to hear it pronounced. i think it’s fun): 司马光砸缸 Sima Guang smashes the vat (transcribed in pinyin: Sīmǎ Guāng zá gāng)
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I am going to list everything I like about this song and you can’t stop me.
The tambourine! The contrast against the lead singer’s more gentle, languid voice from the sudden intensity of the gremliny/rougher backing vocals in the third measure (on “Jump!”). Whoever does the unhinged laugh after that. The drum pick-ups in the ninth measure into the guitar part, the guitar part itself, and the little fill at the end of the phrase/guitar solo. Nice bass part too. All the instrumentals in 草东 songs are consistently delicious, actually. The drum hits (alternating snare and hi-hat?) into a split-second cut of silence into the disinterested, monotonous “one two three jump” with sparse instrumentals (big tambo moment). Very good. The sudden shift in the second verse, cutting the tambourine sixteenths and briefly descending into a more jazzy feel with a very typical/traditional hi-hat rhythm and walking bass. Spectacular. The added edge (snarl?) in Wood's voice as he eviscerates your poor life choices. The mounting tension during the transitional section (the lines “Yet even our gluttony…swimming towards death”), especially in the drum part, which builds from quarter notes to more complex rhythms every twoish bars. Its resolution in the ending lines, with hard hits on 1 and 3 to make it feel very expansive and decisive and final. Except it is and also it’s not and Wood’s last notes sound anticlimactic, like he just gave up and fell dramatically to his knees.
If while reading this you thought, “Hey, it really seems like you just went through and mentioned every audible component,” you’d be correct. Everything about this song is perfect except for the fact that it's only 3 minutes and 7 seconds long.
So! Some background for context: there’s been a sort of passive-aggressive sentiment and pushback against certain societal norms across the Chinese-speaking Internet over the years, generally with younger generations―a result of mounting resentment, disillusionment, and burnout. Not to mention COVID, economic downturn, political unrest, and a flawed education system (but there’s been plenty of commentary on these topics from much more informed people, so we’ll leave it at that). One recentish result is the half-memey, half-serious “Lying flat” movement and other online discussions around escaping unhealthy work and hustle culture. Another is the rock scene (indie/punk/post-whatever, though really it’s been present and active in China since at least the 2000s) and a bunch of bands writing stuff about social and political issues that a lot of youth subcultures resonate with.
Now I didn’t really pick up on how cynical this song was until I actually read through the lyrics. I mean I got the rat race stuff but like. The tambourine was really compelling. I thought we were vibing 😔
It’s an old cliche, really; the rat race we’re familiar with is just taking place in what is basically a ginormous fishbowl instead of a track or maze. We know it’s a pointless pursuit, but the band sets it up and we play along. The bounciness of the tambourine, the “ready, set, go/1, 2, 3, jump” schtick, and the singer’s dry disinterest and matter-of-fact delivery throughout these sections feel extra sarcastic to me once you realize they’re not just talking about a fun swimming competition. He flatly delivers familiar complaints about the aspirations/anti-work attitudes of younger generations: that those unwilling to participate lack conviction and critical thinking skills (brainrotted 😔) and that if they die having done nothing of value with their life, it’s their fault for not playing the game.
About halfway through the second verse, the band gets tired of the facade. You start to feel it as they build tension in that short jazzy section: we descend with the bass and vocal line further into the vat. Something is not right here. Wood gets way less chill after this, taking on a rougher, scornful sound. As a parallel to the first verse, he criticizes people who sacrifice their personal passions, beliefs, or morals to fulfill their perceived desires. They convince themselves that it’s necessary, that it’s what they want, but often end up resorting to hedonism or numbing themselves (the deliberate forgetting mentioned earlier) instead of confronting their failures. And after all that, he says, they still have no real sense of purpose to show for it.
When they finally let loose in the final chorus, you get the full brunt of all this restrained disgust and desperation. They’re outright mocking the game, us, and themselves with the “one two three jump” mantra now; it’s turned into a sardonic command, knowing full well we’ll swim until we inevitably drown. Solution? We make like Sima Guang and shatter that 缸 out of desperation. And for a few measures, it really seems like it might work; the music gets all big and expansive and hopeful.
But we never get a sense of relief or closure. The end feels like defeat. Wood goes from basically yelling to kinda sorrowful and quiet within a second. The drums fall off a cliff, and the guitars just peter out. The show of bravado and pretend indifference ends. Ironically, even after smashing the vat, breaking free from the rat race, and seeing the world for all its possibilities, you yourself are still broken in some way. What have you even managed to do? There's no guarantee you understand yourself better now; what purpose is left for you to find? It was all for nothing―you’re just as lost and unsatisfied as you were before.
I think this song gets flack for being depressing as all hell, which is true and real and a very fair read. I don’t think it’s all just pessimism and “life is meaningless no matter what you do” though. I think it’s about a journey through an existential crisis brought on by a sense of disillusionment with society, getting all myopic about it, and putting everything into one way of living life and turning around to condemn how others live theirs. I think the end of the song, that aimless drifting in the ocean, is the realization that it doesn’t make your own life any better. Perhaps now, in that deep dark expanse, you’ll have the space to reflect.
anyway, this is all a big elaborate call-out post for socrates. hope you’re enjoying that hemlock wine.
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Final rating: do a flip/10
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Chappell Roan - “HOT TO GO!”
Lyrics:
[redacted 😋]
There is crack cocaine in this song. After I heard “Good Luck Babe” and most of the songs of The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, I told Tirna that Chappell Roan is Taylor Swift for lesbians and she said that was offensive to lesbians. And then I told someone else (possibly also Tirna) that Chappell Roan is Hozier for lesbians (I will admit this is a bad take). And then I sent Tirna a Rhythm Heaven map of “HOT TO GO!”
Final rating: 199°/10
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System of a Down - “Lost in Hollywood”
Lyrics:
[redacted but not in a silly fun way. in a edgy rebellious emo way]
I like pretty much whatever SOAD has put out but there is a special place in my heart for their more melodic songs. They all manage to sound a little sad and bitter and cynical but in a “that’s just how life is” sort of way (looking at you, “Aerials”). This one is a lullaby compared to most of their discography, especially with the harmonies in the backing vocals. It’s very pared down and calm, which is quite nice because Serj has a lovely voice.
Final rating: i actually did fall asleep to this several times/10
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话梅鹿 Prune Deer《地衣 Lichen》
Studio version | Live performance (they brought in a sax-playing vocalist!!!!!) | Early demo in which the singers look like they are being held hostage and on the verge of tears (relatable)
Lyrics1:
1. This song doesn’t really have a chorus? It’s just two verses? And then a monologue? It’s not even singing really in the studio version? It’s just a guy whispering sing-songily at you? And it’s lovely?? Also this is where I begin to be unreasonably fed up with English needing to have subjects and articles to make sense. I don’t have the words to explain it properly but trust me it sounds better in Chinese and the English is stupid and not poetic at all in comparison.
2. Can be interpreted in different ways, so this is me extrapolating. Alternatively: “Nothing is important.” Literally: “Everything is not important”
3. Same characters as footnote 7 in《缸 Pool》. Actively choosing to forget, as opposed to the gradual forgetting of things.
4. Literally: “sting nose”
5. As in fictional, out of a story, as opposed to nonexistent. yes there is a difference to me
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This one’s in Cantonese guys. That’s so sick. It also means I had to listen extra hard while looking at the lyrics in order to actually parse what’s being said, which is more difficult when the vocalist is allergic to enunciation and any sound over 1 decibel (I’m assuming it's Nature, the guitarist, who’s doing them in the studio ver, since their lead singer dropped out and Nature does back-up vocals with the hired vocalists in live performances). It’s all good though. Very atmospheric and pretty. My only gripe: whyyy did they not record a version with sax its so pretty.
This song feels like the soundscape of an abandoned city in a piece of science fiction. Haunting, overgrown, hard to navigate. The lyrics also are very layered, like a pasted collage of memories; there’s always something beyond its imagery and underneath each metaphor. You can draw your own conclusions for this one, I think. That’s more fun, isn’t it?
。。。
Final rating: asmr/10
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ヨルシカ Yorushika - 月光浴 (Moonbath)
Lyrics are translated and provided in the MV (which is beautiful and if you don’t watch it i will hate you forever but it’s also not one of their better ones so i won’t actually. any song in the amy and elma storyline is good—i need more people to talk at about these fools so go watch “that’s why i gave up on music” and “deep indigo” and “nautilus” for a peek into their story and then please let me yap at you about them. the plagiarism album mvs are also cool; “thoughtcrime” stands out the most. help what have i done now i want to do a breakdown/ranking of yorushika music videos/storylines).
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n-buna’s writing for guitar is very distinct; the melody here sets a soft, thoughtful atmosphere for suis’ voice. The percussion complements it well: some sort of muted knocking pattern (sorry I have no idea what it is but whatever they’re hitting sounds wooden), kick drum to accent beat 1, and (very crisp!) snaps on 2 and 4. Her little humming is very sweet and the quiet guitar swell to bridge the gap into the chorus is nicely done.
The chorus is so so so good. suis doesn’t often belt, but n-buna makes sure you get hit hard when she does. He’s great at using silence and space to highlight suis’ voice when she goes crazy. The fact that you can hear him faintly harmonizing with her too is really nice to hear; n-buna doesn’t usually sing in their songs. I also like that suis starts the song in her higher range, but ends it in her lower register. It’s fitting, since the final verse circles back to the first both lyrically and musically, and gives it a little bit of a sense of closure.
The translation is a little abstract, but the gist of it is feeling like there is never quite enough time to spend with your loved ones—there will always be something else that you never got to do. It also compares the nature of the moon and the sea to memory and cycles of aging and reincarnation. From the MV’s animation director: “The time we want to hold onto fills every corner and eventually overflows. I want to cherish even the things that pass away.”
Yorushika songs are hard to write about because I have more feelings about them than thoughts, and their music means a lot more to me than the other artists on this list. Putting it into words is beyond frustrating, so here it is in numbers: each of the songs in this post, rated individually, would range from around a 7 to 9 out of 10. These are good songs. But in relation to each other, “Moonbath” is at 8, “The Old Man and the Sea” 9, the 草东 songs 5 or 6 on a good day, and the rest would not crack 2.
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Final rating: goodnight moon/10
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ヨルシカ Yorushika - 老人と海 (The Old Man and The Sea)
Lyrics (adapted from Genius, LyricsTranslate, and NightDeer Translations on Twitter):
This is a very good song. Yorushika doesn’t do complex harmonies very often and the basic melodies and components of each song are pretty simple, but they let suis’ voice shine. And it’s the emotion she puts into it that’s the most striking. suis’ sigh in the final chorus, followed by just the sound of the waves is just...as&jdfks@#rfjnsfk!. you know? But really, there’s not much more I can say about the music itself, sorry. I haven’t got the words.
The title (and album art!) is in reference to Hemingway’s “The Old Man and The Sea”, but otherwise there are next to zero allusions to the actual story other than the last lines and other vague thematic parallels. I think it captures the vibe though, especially if you read the lyrics as being from Manolin’s point of view. Yorushika references several works of literature in a few of their songs; they have a song called “Algernon”, as in “Flowers for Algernon”, and it's very sweet and also very heartbreaking.
When I was little, I had a CD of Brothers Grimm fairytales containing the story “The Fisherman and His Wife”. I don’t know if it was just the tragedy of it all, or the way the narrator delivered her lines, but it made me unspeakably sad. Just the sound of her sad old fisherman voice pleading, “Flounder, flounder in the sea, hither quickly, come to me. For my wife, dame Isabel, wishes what I scarce not tell,” was often enough for my heart to start pounding and my throat to close up. I would sit there quietly, helplessly, and listen to the old man be driven to ruin over and over and over again, sharing in his dread and heartache and despair and wishing desperately, furiously, that I could be anywhere but here.
There’s something about this guitar tone that feels like a happier version of this nostalgia. Like all Yorushika songs, it feels like late spring/early summer; it sounds like June, a late afternoon by the sea, and a bittersweet longing for a place that isn’t real.
。。。
“After that he began to dream of the long yellow beach
and he saw the first of the lions come down onto it in the early dark
and then the other lions came and he rested his chin on the wood of the bows
where the ship lay anchored with the evening off-shore breeze
and he waited to see if there would be more lions
and he was happy.”
—Ernest Hemingway, “The Old Man and The Sea”
Final rating: teach a man to fish/10
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Closing thoughts:
ok so i really did not mean to choose so many songs that featured nostalgia or such heavy disillusionment with society and a resulting loss of identity and place and purpose. i promise i’m not that cynical please i’m not that cool i just like sick drums and pretty guitar. egg on my face 🤡🍳also andrew bird was not anywhere near my top tracks, which is surprising but probably for the best because writing for 草东 and yorushika was hard enough
this was genuinely fun to do but because i hate writing with all of my heart it took way too long. can you imagine if i had actually done a proper formal analysis. if it didn’t take a million years i would actually try and go through every single song i’ve ever liked (or disliked) because there’s so much more good music out there. anyway. sorry again if anything was confusing or wrong. i hope you enjoyed regardless! thank you clara for having me :)
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Bonus: all the books i read in may and what i thought of them
like 2 or so chapters of “Cancer Ward” by Alexander Solzhenitsyn
bro it’s been so long since i started this book that i've started to forget what is happening. 3/5 though it’s cool
“Finding Zero” by Amir D. Aczel
as a book it was not very interesting but the mathematical concepts and history very much are. 2.5/5
“Everything and More: A Compact History of Infinity” by David Foster Wallace
actually quite funny but possibly only to nerds? as it is so goddamn esoteric. it also gets messy and confusing. i don’t know enough math yet to fully criticize it so here’s a list of everything wrong with it if you’re interested. 3/5 i liked it
as an aside, this is actually the first book i've read by DFW and what i’m gathering from this is that i would maybe like “Infinite Jest.” this is troubling bc i also want to read Cormac McCarthy and “House of Leaves” and “The King in Yellow”. help
woah
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