all the books i read in december and january and what i thought about them

 All of the books I read in December and January and what I thought about them

Hello team, my life is in some respects falling apart faster than a vegetarian meatball (broken keyboard, unable to read, Greek homework), but I do have a kite and a new sweater, WHICH I MADE. I made the sweater, I didn't make the kite. Somehow I only read 3 books in December, and then I read 4 books in January, but I accomplished my Goodreads reading goal (66), and I feel optimistic about the future. 

Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift

rating: ⭐⭐⭐

The best part about this book is imagining how Gulliver would explain to his family back home why he can't tolerate being around them anymore and instead wants to chat with his pet horses for FOUR HOURS EVERY DAY. "So, I met these talking horses, and they're soooo smart, and they smell better than you." I would emancipate myself if I were Betsy or whatever his daughter is named. I like Gulliver. I think he's funny. My entire class was so anti-Gulliver because my professor made the mistake of saying the word "humanity" and they all decided Gulliver doesn't have any because he's a little hawkish. But they could never make me hate him.

The Odyssey by Homer

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I love the Odyssey and I'm an Odysseus apologist. I relate too much to every character. I relate to the male characters; I don't relate to the female characters. I'm not like the other girls. This is a great book for people who feel alienated and unable to return home, or when they return home, it's weird and different. The drama club has all new members now. Where is this other place I remember? It doesn't exist anymore. Now we're reading book IX in Greek. My ancient Greek class is 3 quiet men (including my professor) and me, Clara (loud, female). [important update: since the time I started writing the blog post, one of my classmates dropped the class, so now it is only two quiet guys and a loud girl]. WE SHOULD START A BAND. I'm going to bring this up. I love ancient Greek and I love the Odyssey. I like how at least two people ask Odysseus, so, are you a pirate? And Odysseus is like, "nooooo" but he sacks cities and steals stuff. The epithet for city-sacker is ptoliportheros. The epithet for pretty hair is euplokamis. So, it's not like me and Odysseus are totally the same. Odysseus is babygirl and he has never done anything wrong. I'm in a classics department full of Odysseus haters and my Greek professor is trying to indoctrinate us. This has made me a reactionary. 

Ravelstein by Saul Bellow

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

This book is about the fictional version of Allan Bloom, who is just such a miserable and insufferable individual that it's a good thing that he's dead only in that, if he were alive, and if ever I ran into him, I would probably slug him, and so would my thesis advisor. I'm not saying it's a good thing that he's dead. I'm just saying it's a good thing neither of us will ever be given the opportunity to slug him. I don't really have complaints about this book, though. The character is obviously the worst, but the book is a vibe. It's just a bunch of pretentious Jewish poli sci classicists; I felt so at home. Fake Allan Bloom tries to make his students forget about/disavow their parents and then arrange their marriages, and if anyone tried this with me, I think something would blow up. With me, it's always, "my mom says" "my dad says" and this will never not be the case. If my professor tried to arrange my marriage, I don't know what I would do. I would probably write a violently contrarian paper eviscerating their favorite philosopher and then be mean on the course evaluation. Yeah, that sounds right. 

Outline by Rachel Cusk (reread)

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I was so desperate to reread this series, but then I read this one, and I'm not really sure what all of the fuss was about. I know you're supposed to see the protagonist through her interactions with other people, but I don't understand anything about her, and I'm not sure how one would. One reviewer described it as the author auditioning characters for a book. I like that. I enjoyed some of her conversations; I was bored by other conversations. This is also the case in everyday life. 

The Penultimate Peril by Lemony Snicket (at this point, my life is simply and endless state of reading this series, like the Finnegan's Wake book club)

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

This is the best book in the series, and it's okay if someone doesn't think that because it's okay to have bad taste. Fenelon says something about how good people have an advantage over wicked people because good people can recognize each other, and this is also what Kit tells the Baudelaires, but they are not actually able to tell the good triplets from the bad triplet. I think this is an interesting commentary on the difficulty of being a good person and the grey area between noble and wicked. I also really enjoy the non-answers they give to Frank and Ernest when they ask, are you who I think you are? Yeah, I'm a concierge. In the TV show, I think they say, it depends who you think I am. I love giving non-answers. I also like the joke about Antonin Scalia. It seems the literal interpretation doesn't make any sense. 

My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante (reread)

rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I don't have much to say. Frank is pestering me to finish the blog post. I should be doing the reading for my American grand strategy class, but the book I stole off the internet says it's going to take 30 minutes to download. I guess these are the wages of sin. This book is great on a sentence level. I think someone says that in Outline as an insult, but I mean it as a compliment. I don't really like any of the characters, and I don't like how they interact. Nothing happens, there's no plot. I don't know what the book is trying to say. I was just desperate to know what would happen next, and I'm obsessed with Lila, too.

Joy in the Morning by P.G. Wodehouse

rating: ⭐⭐

Out of respect to Allison and also my thesis advisor, I don't want to take too many shots at this book. I sort of understand why smart people like Allison and my mom would think P.G. Wodehouse is sort of fun. I do not understand why smart people like my thesis advisor think he is a god. P.G. Wodehouse is not funny and he can't write a good story and this book is actually just The Code of the Woosters wearing a different hat. And whenever any character talked (or when Bertie had any thought, which was any time a character wasn't talking) I wanted to throw myself off a cliff. Extra star out of respect to the P.G. Wodehouse hive. So, that's that on that.